Resting Neurodivergently: Have a Break, Not a Breakdown - Neurodivergent Support Cheshire.
- Chonti
- May 16
- 2 min read
Resting Neurodivergently: Have a Break, Not a Breakdown
Autistic people and AuDHDers often face enormous challenges with rest.
These challenges are rooted not only in intrinsic neurodivergent traits—like sensory needs or dopamine-seeking—but also in the lasting effects of years spent masking. Many of us have internalised neurotypical expectations of what rest should look like, and when we don’t match those ideas, we feel like we’re “doing it wrong.”
But we’re not. We just rest differently.
Why Rest Can Feel So Hard
Letting go of neurotypical definitions of rest is a process. It requires patience, self-compassion, and a deep rewrite of the scripts many of us were handed growing up.
From one neurodivergent woman to another—it took me years to even begin to allow myself to rest and relax. And it took not one, but two horses to teach me how to do so.
Burnout, Wake-Up Calls, and Starting Again
I had what I now understand to be a major autistic burnout, followed by a car accident that forced me to stop and reevaluate everything. Even then, it took months before anything that resembled an “epiphany” came.
I eventually realised that my entire concept of rest needed to be torn down and rebuilt from scratch.
The type of rest we are taught to recognise—doing nothing, lying still—often leaves our brains screaming. Screaming for dopamine. Screaming for sensory input. Screaming for our special interests. Or simply screaming because something is better than the Nothingness.
Neurodivergent Brains Rest Differently
Our brains are different. They rest differently.
Some of us need gentle, ongoing stimulation to reach a place of calm. Others need specific types of stimulation while avoiding others. And for many of us, our needs fluctuate day to day, moment to moment.
This Is Where Horses Come In
I swear horses understand our neurodivergent-ness. They bring something to our brains and bodies that is both gently stimulating and deeply relaxing. Just being in their presence helps us rest.
Horses live in and are part of nature—a setting that often feels made for neurodivergent brains. We can potter about, stroke a horse, chat to them, or simply share space without needing to perform or explain. They don’t care about our neurodivergence. They just care about who we are, right here and now.
There’s no need to mask with a horse.
Resting With Horses Is Not Indulgent—It’s Necessary
Watching horses graze or interact is like watching a safe, familiar show. There’s enough going on to engage our minds without overwhelming us. This kind of presence is calming, creative, and connective.
We can speak to the horse, journal, sketch, or breathe alongside them—tuning into their breath and ours. It becomes a form of active rest that meets our real needs.
This kind of rest isn’t a luxury. It’s not a reward for productivity.
It’s crucial.
It’s restorative.
And it gives us the spaciousness and clarity we’ve often been missing.
I'm so glad I have found this blog post! It's helped a lot as did my session with you - thank you so much I will be in touch very soon for another.
For much of my life, I felt different, but not in a way that felt like a gift. It felt like separation, like I was somehow less because I didn’t fit into the mold of what others called “normal.” I lived in a world apart, hiding behind masks, swallowing my feelings to keep the peace in an environment where being different—or simply expressing myself—felt dangerous.
It’s only been in recent years that I’ve come to see that what I once saw as a flaw was actually a blessing. My neurodivergence is not something broken or wrong; it’s a different way of experiencing and connecting with the world. My high intuition was never wrong—it just didn’t fit the framework of those…